I can't believe substack just suggested your writing to me. A fave from g&g. I'm not sure if you've migrated here or I'm there less but happy to have re-found your writing!
Interesting that racially segregated speed dating took place in the dark heart of progressivism, a church so holy even its most ardent believers don’t practice the faith.
"i remember this particularly disgusting french restaurant was my least favorite venue because the owner (some milquetoast blonde french dude with horrible teeth) sexually harassed me nonstop and the restaurant was straight up full of rats. i vividly remember him coming out of the basement with a bottle of wine and like 6 rats scurried out behind him like he was some sort of pied piper / plague king. horrified, i was like “dude, your restaurant has RATS!” he was super offended at that and scoffed “it’s the east village, every restaurant has RATS!” ok!"
There is precious little to like about NYC, but I like restaurants full of rats.
so happy to see this in blogpost form :3
This is gold. Thanks. I smiled, I laughed, I got lines I will steal for later use.
Classic: ALL -- the true, honest voice of desperation.
I can't believe substack just suggested your writing to me. A fave from g&g. I'm not sure if you've migrated here or I'm there less but happy to have re-found your writing!
ty, glad you found it!! migrated here :)
😅
I remember this story! Will give it a proper second reading tomorrow!
Commenting and liking for the algorithm.
This was a fun read.
I literally guffawed at “no! i don’t want samosas, i want more women!” This entire article is amazing and I loved the level of detail.
“Women be feelin’ guilty for no reason.” Dude my face hurts from how much this made me laugh. Thanks for the giggles 😂
I laughed out loud at your speed dating hosting stories, pure gold!
you're hilarious
“no! i don’t want samosas, i want more women!”
This line will stay with me forever. Thank you. 🙏😅
This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read on Substack— low bar I know, but really good. Reminded me of Spy magazine back in the day.
ty! i liked spy mag as well
I'm gonna say it.... that was... one MORTifying dame. Sorry I'll show myself out.
Front row seats to the bipedal zoo
Interesting that racially segregated speed dating took place in the dark heart of progressivism, a church so holy even its most ardent believers don’t practice the faith.
lol great piece. I have hosted a few speed dating gigs for random gigs before and really related to this piece. Cheers!🍻
"i remember this particularly disgusting french restaurant was my least favorite venue because the owner (some milquetoast blonde french dude with horrible teeth) sexually harassed me nonstop and the restaurant was straight up full of rats. i vividly remember him coming out of the basement with a bottle of wine and like 6 rats scurried out behind him like he was some sort of pied piper / plague king. horrified, i was like “dude, your restaurant has RATS!” he was super offended at that and scoffed “it’s the east village, every restaurant has RATS!” ok!"
There is precious little to like about NYC, but I like restaurants full of rats.